Imbeciles
by obsidianLight16
Summary: He couldn't even use the bathroom without something starting...


**A/N: First Samurai fic anyways :D**

**I'll probably do a lot more with the characters in this type of Universe so... look out for that!**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, chaos...?**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters! Koei does!**

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><p>Masamune Date was your average teen.<p>

He lived in an apartment, went to school, and even had a part time job in a cafe. It was all very nice. He spent his peaceful days watching the clouds or terrorizing his friends with small pranks, eating all the food, and sleeping his days away in bliss.

Or that's what it should have been like.

What really happened is he ended up cramped in the tiniest-ass apartment with just about ten other idiots, went to a psychopathic school where the teachers were just about as young as him, and worked whenever he could in a cafe that the imbeciles in his apartment ran. When he wasn't dying on the ground outside from lack of air from running away from Nagamasa or Kanetsugu, or wasn't trying to steal a tiny morsel from the fridge without being attacked by Keiji- he somehow managed to crash onto his bed late at night and stuff a pillow over his head to block out the loud noise from outside.

Having just recently transferred to the Musou District, he really hadn't expected to make any friends- what with his brattish attitude and all. But lo and behold he did! And boy did he regret it.

Right now he was lying on his bed, loudly blasting music from his MP3 while playing his PS3. "No! Stupid imbecile! How dare you K.O. me!"

There was a knock on hid bedroom door.

"Dinner's ready- so hurry up and come down!"

Masamune ripped his headphones out and glared. "Shut up Keiji! I do what I want!"

"Well if you get stuck with an empty plate, don't blame me!"

"Come on kid, I made your favorite tonight," Sakon's voice said, probably from where he was standing beside Keiji.

"Really?" Masamune turned his T.V. off with a bit of hope in his visible eye.

"Nope! Now get down to the kitchen!"

Masamune felt a vein pop as Keiji and Sakon walked off, their laughter booming throughout the entire apartment. "You- You IMBECILES!"

Dammit! He hated being so gullible!

But now that it was around dinner time, and before he had to deal with the barbaric animals he dared called his friends, there was something he had to do...

Take a piss.

So Masamune rolled out of bed and threw his controller under his pillow, straightening his eye patch out before exiting the room he shared with his most hated rival.

Kanetsugu Naoe.

Speaking of which-

"I see you've finally decided to open the door," the taller brunette said from where he was leaning on the wall outside. "Locking me out from my own room isn't very mature at all."

"Not all of us are old men like you," Masamune snapped back.

Kanetsugu rolled his eyes. "You are such a fool Masamune."

"No _you're _a fool!" Masamune shouted at him. "And who said you could talk to me? I didn't give you permission!"

"Gee Date-kun," Kanetsugu started to sarcastically say. "I wasn't aware there was a 'No Talking' sign pasted on the front of your shirt." He reached out and poked the shorter brunette on his forehead. "See you at dinner," he said in slight exasperation before giving a small wave and walking away.

Masamune stood quite speechless for several seconds before Mitsunari waltzed by, slapping him on the back.

"You're a loser," Mitsunari called over his shoulder and then disappeared down the narrow hall.

Masamune immediately snapped out of his daze. "Shut the hell up you pessimistic bastard!" he yelled into thin air.

"Hey? What's this?"

Masamune started to turn around at the sound of a new voice, only to get drop-kicked onto the ground by two very familiar figures. "Ah- ow, ow, ow! You IMBECILES! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he cried out.

"Musashi-kun! Kunoichi! What are you doing?" Yukimura pulled the two off of the cowering brunette beneath their feet. He crouched down and began to help the poor boy up. "Masamune-kun, are you-?"

"Unhand me this moment!" Masamune screeched at him, jumping to his feet. He pointed an accusing finger at a grinning Kunoichi and Musashi. "Explain yourselves- ouch! My spine!" He held a hand to his back, cringing in slight pain.

Musashi unapologetically shrugged. "Not our fault. Have you seen what's on your back?"

"What?" Masamune blinked.

"Yeah," Kunoichi said with a large smile. "You've got a great welcome sign on there buddy."

Masamune was confused. "What are you talking about? I don't understand imbecile talk!"

Yukimura, getting a suspicious feeling in his gut, let out a tiny sigh and motioned towards the brunette. "Please turn around Masamune-kun."

"Why?"

Yukimura shook his head slowly. "It would seem as if Mitsunari left a note for all to see."

Masamune gaped and then frantically grasped at his back to try and see what the auburn-haired teen had stuck onto him. He heard the crinkling before whipping out a sheet of paper with tape stuck to one end. Written on it in large bold letters was: KICK ME- I'M SHORT. Masamune's face first turned white with disbelief, and then slowly began to turn a deep shade of red. "That…BASTARD!"

Yukimura placed a hand to his head. "I am very sorry Masamune-kun. I'll be sure to have a word with Mitsunari…."

"Don't even bother," Masamune all but spat, throwing the paper to the floor and stomping on it several times. "I'll handle that moron myself!"

"Well, whatever," Musashi said, smacking Masamune over the head. "I'm hungry and you're still the shortest here so…"

"I agree!" Kunoichi chirped. "Only I prefer to leave a lasting impression!" She flashed a bright smile, blinding Masamune and giving the hyperactive girl enough time to crush his foot underneath hers and knock him to the ground. "See ya around Masamune!"

Musashi nodded, ignoring the brunette now rolling around holding his foot and muttering death threats under his breath. "Yeah- you'd better hurry or all the food will be gone dude."

Masamune glared with a popped vein. "I don't want to hear that from you!"

"Well fine then," Musashi fake huffed, grabbing Yukimura's arm and dragging him down the hall. "We won't save you anything then."

Yukimura looked over his shoulder at Masamune. "I- I am truly very sorry Masamune-kun! I hope you're really alright!" he called as he was pulled further and further away.

Kunoichi stuck out her tongue before trailing after the two, leaving a very pissed teen on the carpeted hall floors.

It was only a few minutes later when Kojirou walked by and offered to carry him to his room that Masamune was back on his feet in front of the bathroom door, twitchingly smiling at the pale-faced teen before shaking his head, 'No'.

Kojirou smiled pleasantly. "Suit yourself Masamune-kun. I'll save you a seat at dinner."

Masamune violently twitched. "S-Sure."

"Kojirou-san," a petite voice said from the end of the hallway. "Masamune-kun!"

Both boys turned as one.

Gracia, with a gruff looking Ina and Ginchiyo at her side, waved at them. "Dinner's ready and everyone's already down in the kitchen. Won't you join us?"

_Where do you think we're headed? _Masamune thought with a vein throbbing.

"Of course milady," Kojirou sweetly said. He spared Masamune a glance. "Coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," he shortly answered. _Dang it! I still have to piss!_

"Then hurry or you'll miss out," Kojirou said in a warning tone before gracefully meeting with the three girls. He gave Masamune one last look and then the four vanished from sight.

And then Keiji ran by, being chased by a very happy-looking Nagamasa waving a stack of papers up in the air.

Keiji accidentally pushed Masamune into the wall as he stampeded by, Nagamasa adding to the damage by stepping on both feet and knocking him in the face by his elbow as he sprinted past.

The best part?

Neither of them even realized it.

Masamune growled and yanked the door to the bathroom open, storming inside. He slammed the door behind him and brought two fingers to his temples in an effort to soothe his incoming migraine.

It didn't work.

He glared daggers into his reflection in the mirror until he could no longer see clearly and then frowned. "Crap. Just _seeing _those imbeciles makes angry! I can't even take a simple piss without getting hurt in this stupid apartment! " He stalked over to the toilet and kicked the lid up.

And screamed.

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><p>Sakon sighed and scanned his table of fellow friends, hands on his hips. "Alright. Who forgot to flush?"<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Owari ^v^**


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